Chapter 28, part 2
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He now saw that his possible advantage, even if successfully realized, would prove to be nothing more than an even graver one against himself. Coming to full comprehension, Isaac began to fearfully understand just how seriously honest she was when she had called him a dead man back in the hangar.
I made you, Isaac. I made you who you are. I gave you everything you desire, I let you play like a god in my world... and you wanted it all without fulfilling your promise to me. All I've ever asked was to have you, safekeeper. I need you. I offered you the chance to share in my power, but all you did was take it from me to fulfill your own sick needs, and now, you won't give me back what's rightfully mine. You're a thief - you convinced yourself that it was all yours, and then you repeatedly rejected me altogether. Honestly, I have no idea how you do it - but I've never had a host as strong willed and defiant as you are. I've never, ever had a vessel that I couldn't fully control. And it mystifies me, Isaac. It fucking mystifies me beyond all belief. I just don't understand it at all.
Kendra paused, taking a visibly deep breath. Her cold, ominous eyes remained upon Isaac for a very long period of dead silence before she finally had to look down. Though she fought hard to maintain it, her fiery disposition began to smother as she now became engrossed with an increasing sense of veneration.
You have no idea how fortunate you are to be human, Isaac. To be who you are, to know what you know. I admire you beyond anything in all creation. When I found you, you opened up a whole new way of life for me. I could do so many new things. I could walk, I could speak, I could see, I could hear, I could think, and I could feel... I could feel, Isaac. Through you. Not just basic, primordial instinct like that... ungodly monster, but really feel what it's like to have infinitely complex thoughts, endless processes, such multiplexed emotions... just like you. I saw so many things that I couldn't even comprehend... it overwhelmed me... your beautiful consciousness is like pure poison to me, Isaac. Euphoric, chemical love... and I just can't let you go. I can see inside of you, feel everything about your nature, explore your deepest proclivities and I know that you are such a good soul... you are such a bright light. One like I've never seen. I adore you so much, Isaac. I don't want to live without you.
He listened to her intently, staring through unblinking eyes growing heavy in self reproach at the words of this extravagantly pitiful creature. He had heard her all this time, and all the times before now, and every time they met she had always raised the bar as far as what to expect, but still he would have never thought he'd ever hear such things come out of her. He had no idea. In that moment, he began to truly understand who she really was to him. Each word she spoke engraved itself acutely upon his brain, and he now managed to assemble the cryptic logic that had up to this point eluded him so gracefully - he saw the mutual gravity of their dynamics, how deeply affected she was by her experience, and now he also saw how he had been directly responsible for it in every way. The deep, forlorn tone of her mental speech was saturated with a profound longing that hauntingly reminded Isaac of himself, and at this revelation he recalled Dr. Kyne's dactylic explanation of the Hive Mind's tendency to reflect its host. Now, he understood her true nature - a sentient manifestation mirroring his own deeply binding love, his ravenously unsatisfied loneliness... his intense, dangerously insane obsession. And this entity stood before him, blueprinted from the memorized form of one whom he knew, but had not sincerely acknowledged, had shared his same unfortunate path of rejected fascination. He sighed deeply, fighting back the urge to say anything to her. Kendra sensed his hesitation, and suddenly feeling very exposed, she clasped her hands in front of her, blanking the expression of her face and exacting a detached facade as she spoke through stone hardened eyes directed right at him.
But you know, I've learned that there's something else about yourself that you fail to appreciate. The most important thing. I've seen so many things before our time, I've experienced so many levels of life in my existence; but you, human, have surpassed all others. You are the only species I've ever known that, even when offered everything at your feet, will turn it all away just for your freedom; your own identity. You're so strong Isaac... beyond anything I've ever seen. You are my first and honest match. You truly stand at the threshold of heaven, human. Know that.
She turned back around as she finished, attempting to veil the obvious awe she felt in his presence, crossing her arms and shifting her focus to the black, star specked void of space just outside the control room window. Isaac took the time in the following silence to digest her speech, watching her from behind with haggard eyes and carefully analyzing every word she had said. He was embarrassed by his ignorance of just how vast this uncharted ocean of knowledge really was, and how hopelessly lost he was within it. Her words paralyzed him. Kendra noticed his lengthy lack of response, and with her face still aimed at the window her eyes drifted slowly back, catching sight of him with her peripheral vision. She saw how he remained still as stone, and she bit her lip as she vainly fought back a wave of compassion for him. Taking a small breath, she turned around. Upon seeing his heartsick complexion, she felt compelled to approach him. With eyes bathed in clemency, she met his deadened stare, closed in and whispered to him.
I love you Isaac. You are my safekeeper. You are my entire reason for existing. What do I need to do to make you see that we belong together? That this is our destiny? I'll give you anything you want. Anything.
She leaned in warily, half expecting he might lash out, but she saw he remained steady at her approach. She then carefully placed the side of her cheek against his forehead, listening to him within. Though he remained silent, she could hear even the smallest response as it traversed his fatigued neural pathways. As she received his tacit request, her eyes instantly shriveled to dark pits.
No, Isaac. Not her. No.
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